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9 Tips To Improve Emotional Intimacy In The Relationship

In Intimacy, Relationships by Alpha Now Team

Emotional intimacy is vital to the health of your relationship, so here are a few tips for you and your partner to always connect emotionally.

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In this article:

  1. Carve Out Some Time to Connect Regularly
  2. Make a Fun List of New Experiences
  3. Limit Screen Time
  4. Make Empathy Your Default
  5. Ask Questions Regularly
  6. Don’t Avoid Uncomfortable Conversations
  7. Don’t Limit Physical Affection to Sex
  8. Don’t Forget About Your Needs
  9. Consider Professional Help

9 Ways to Build Emotional Intimacy

What is emotional intimacy? This is your partner’s evaluation of how close, comfortable, and secure they are with you. Without emotional intimacy, it’s difficult to build trust in a relationship.

1. Carve Out Some Time to Connect Regularly

It’s easy to fall into a routine when you’re in a long-term relationship. Routines are convenient and comfortable, but it’s easy to disconnect when you’re on autopilot.

Make an effort and look for opportunities to reconnect in your day-to-day life. Here are some things you can do to make your routine work for you:

  • Go out for a nightcap after a stressful day.
  • Pick your partner up from work one day.
  • Pick an easy chore you can do together (ex: folding the laundry, washing dishes, or cleaning the tub).

Remember, the goal is to deepen your connection with your partner. So avoid talking about the latest gossip or your kids and focus on each other.

2. Make a Fun List of New Experiences

Take some time with your partner and come up with a list of new things you want to try together. Find some time to tick off the items on that list one at a time.

When you experience new things with your partner, you’re building new memories that can renew feelings of closeness. Apart from that, this is also an opportunity to learn new things about your partner—things you may not discover if you stick to the same routine.

3. Limit Screen Time

These days, it’s getting tougher to disconnect from the rest of the world to focus on your loved ones. Communications technology is a great tool for productivity, and it provides a convenient way to stay in touch, but it doesn’t always improve the quality of human interactions.

Too much screen time can have a negative impact on relationship satisfaction. When you’re at home, try to limit the time you spend on your smartphone, tablet, or computer.

Here are some things you can do to help minimize your screen time use with your partner:

  • Implement a no-phone policy during meal times
  • Have screen-time cut off at home
  • Keep the bedroom screen-free
  • Turn off notifications for social media or unimportant messaging services

If it’s too hard to go cold turkey, start with an hour or two of no screen time. Who knows, if you give up some of your online time, you may get some real-time lovin’ from your partner.

4. Make Empathy Your Default

It’s easy to nitpick and focus on what your partner isn’t doing right. Over time, this habit can turn into resentment, which may hinder emotional intimacy.

Instead of focusing on your partner’s shortcomings, try to see things from their perspective. Is there anything else that may have contributed to their behavior?

Could there be other stressors your partner is dealing with? When your default is empathy, you’re actively choosing to assume the best in your partner.

On top of that, you’re also more likely to engage in helpful problem-solving. All of this helps create an environment where people are more secure to make mistakes and be themselves.

5. Ask Questions Regularly

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Ask your partner questions that shows you’re interested in their thoughts and feelings.

A simple way to foster a sense of closeness with your partner is by asking questions—and it doesn’t even have to be questions about your relationship. Simply asking your partner what they think or how they feel about certain situations or topics of interest helps validate their role in your life.

When you regularly ask your partner for their opinion, you’re letting them know that you value their thoughts and consider them. It’s also an opportunity to better understand your partner’s values and thought process.

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6. Don’t Avoid Uncomfortable Conversations

There are some things that may be difficult to talk about, but it’s important to make an effort to address these challenging topics—even if it makes you a little uncomfortable. When you avoid talking about certain topics, you may start making assumptions about what your partner is thinking or feeling.

The uncertainty can make you feel less secure about your relationship, and it may even lead to more conflicts. When you’re honest, you’re giving your partner the opportunity to respond to your needs.

7. Don’t Limit Physical Affection to Sex

One study shows that nonsexual (yet romantic) physical affection can help foster emotional intimacy between couples. Here are a few examples of nonsexual physical affection you can try on your partner:

  • Massages
  • Caressing or stroking
  • Cuddling
  • Holding hands
  • Hugging
  • Kissing

If you’re only physically affectionate when you’re about to have sex, your partner may start to think that you only want to be close to get some. If you’re physically affectionate throughout the day, you’re communicating that you desire your partner—even if you don’t end up having sex.

8. Don’t Forget About Your Needs

It may seem selfish, but it’s important to prioritize yourself and your well-being before you can build emotional intimacy with anyone. When you take care of your own well-being, you’re less preoccupied with yourself and more present and attentive towards your partner.

Try to regularly set aside some me-time so that you can recharge and recalibrate. Otherwise, you may end up projecting your needs onto your partner, which can result in disappointment.

9. Consider Professional Help

If you feel like you and your partner have grown too far apart, and you don’t know how to repair your relationship, it may be helpful to get some professional help. A trained couple’s therapist can help you and your partner figure things out and re-build emotional intimacy.

It’s not always easy to talk about personal matters with others, but a therapist can help couples get to the bottom of their issues. They can also equip you and your partner with skills that can help strengthen your relationship.

Building emotional intimacy is a process, and it doesn’t happen overnight. It has a ripple effect on the other aspects of your romantic relationship, including sexual satisfaction.

It even helps improve sexual satisfaction among men and women with sexual arousal problems. Even if it takes some time and effort, it’s definitely worth it!

How do you build emotional intimacy with your partner? Share your tips with us in the comments section below.

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