How do you talk to your partner about erectile dysfunction (ED)?
Look. If you’re experiencing difficulty in gaining or maintaining an erection, it’s important that you discuss it with your partner.
Because, let’s face it. Most relationships are about much more than just sex. They’re about love and connection. Intimacy. Trust. And empathy. So it’s important to share the truth with your partner.
Strengthen your relationship by being open and honest with them about what you’re experiencing.
Yes. It can seem daunting. The mere thought of sharing your struggles with erectile dysfunction with your partner can be downright frightening. But there are ways you can approach it that might not feel so scary.
Start the Conversation
The most important thing to do is to start the conversation with your partner. It could feel like an overwhelming conservation to start.
Maybe start by breaking the ice. Acknowledge that this is awkward for you, and let your partner know that it’s something you’d like to discuss.
If this feels a bit too much, try starting a conversation about your sex life in general. This will give you the chance to work up to the subject in a more natural way, without feeling like you’re bringing it up out of the blue.
When and Where
Consider when and where you’d like to start the conversation with your partner.
It may be that you decide to discuss erectile dysfunction outside of the bedroom. Having the conversation when you’re trying to be intimate – or where you’d usually experience sexual intimacy – may feel slightly uncomfortable. A neutral and safe space can put you at ease.
Or you might find that your erectile dysfunction prevents sexual intercourse. When this happens, it might be a good time to bite the bullet and start the conversation. Be open and honest about what you’re experiencing at the moment.
The most important thing is that you start the conversation in a space and place where you’re most comfortable. Don’t feel like you have to rush, but also try to avoid broaching the subject.
Open up to your partner when your able to give each other the time and attention needed.
Remember That It’s Common
Don’t be scared about talking about erectile dysfunction. It’s more common than you may think.
One study estimates that more than half of men experience some form of erectile dysfunction. So don’t feel alienated by what you’re going through; it’s something that more than half of men experience.
No One Is to Blame
There is no one to blame for erectile dysfunction, and neither of you should apologize for it.
It’s not caused by something that you did or didn’t do, and there’s no quick cure by just trying harder the bedroom.
Try not to be defensive about the issue. Be open and honest about your feelings, and explain what you’re going through.
Explain How You Feel
When you’re talking about your erectile dysfunction, explain to your partner how you feel. This emotional intimacy will be hugely appreciated by you both.
This will also allow your partner to better understand what you’re going through. They won’t know what’s happening – and how it’s affecting you – unless you tell them.
Let them know how your erectile dysfunction is affecting you physically, mentally and emotionally.
Have an open and honest conversation with your partner; don’t hold back or hide.
You’re sharing with them for a reason, so share all of the details. Tell them what is happening, how you feel about it, and what you are going through.
Be honest and truthful. Allow your partner to fully understand your experience so that you can both work together to feel satisfied and content.
Have a Two-Way Conversation
Once you’ve said what you’d like to say to your partner, give them the chance to respond. They may have questions or something that they’d like to say.
Remember that erectile dysfunction may be difficult for them to understand if they haven’t experienced it themselves. Allow your partner to find out more, and together you can have a deep and full discussion about what you’re experiencing.
Don’t feel defensive; they’re probably just trying to understand as much as possible.
Consider How Your Partner Is Feeling
Erectile dysfunction affects both of you.
If you are feeling sexually unsatisfied, then it’s likely your partner is too. It’s also likely that they’ve noticed some changes. Your partner may blame themselves, or worry about bringing the subject up with you.
Sexual intimacy is an important part of a relationship. Erectile dysfunction may have physical and emotional consequences.
This is an opportunity for you both to explain what you’ve been feeling and thinking about your sexual relationship, and how this has affected your relationship overall.
Make sure that you both reassure and support each other, and enable one another to talk openly and honestly.
Explain What You Need from Your Partner
Once you’ve discussed what you’ve been experiencing, it’s important to be constructive about what happens next.
Tell your partner how they can help you, and what you’d like to do. Make sure that your partner tells you what they need too. Again, this is about both of you.
You’ve both been honest and open about the situation; it’s now time to discuss what you’d like to do about it.
Have a positive and optimistic conversation with your partner. Be reassuring and focus on what you can do together to make each other feel comfortable and happy.
Don’t feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. Stay calm, relaxed and open.
Erectile dysfunction certainly doesn’t mean that you and your partner will never experience sexual satisfaction again.
Erectile dysfunction is treatable. There are many methods for strengthening and keeping your erection.
It’s best to consider which method – or methods – are best for you and your partner to explore, and understand what works best for you.
Don’t Compare Your Experience to Anyone Else
You are completely unique, as is your partner. Your sexual relationship is therefore unique as well, as is your experience with erectile dysfunction.
Although erectile dysfunction is common, your experience is your own. Don’t feel pressured by other people’s experiences or relationships.
Try not to compare stories of sexual relationships or erectile dysfunction. Don’t let this put pressure on you, or expect certain things should or will happen.
Find out More Together
Erectile dysfunction is often related to health issues or medications. It would be a good idea to make an appointment with your doctor to discuss the issue and seek medical advice.
There are medical and lifestyle changes that you can make, and it’s important that you explore which options or methods would be best for you.
It’s a good idea to involve your partner in these appointments, discussions and decisions. Erectile dysfunction affects you both, and it can be extremely positive for your relationship if you work together to improve your sexual experiences.
Adjust Your Sex Life
If you’re experiencing erectile dysfunction, adjust your sex life so that you both feel as comfortable and satisfied as possible. If something isn’t working for you, move on and try something else.
Discuss with each other how you can best do this without putting too much pressure on yourselves.
Also, remember that your relationship is more than just sex. Intimacy can be achieved in many ways and can be hugely enjoyable for you both. Explore with each other, and discover other ways to feel close and connected as a couple.
Continue the Conversation
Just because you’ve talked about it once doesn’t mean you should never talk about it again.
This should be a continual conversation between you and your partner. Make sure that you keep talking about what you’re feeling and experiencing.
Talk about what feels good and what feels bad. Discuss how you’re feeling about getting and maintaining an erection. Try different options and methods together, and talk about what is working well or is making you feel uncomfortable.
This is a continual process. To maintain intimacy in every sense, you need to continue talking about what your thinking, feeling and going through.
Your sexual satisfaction should be something that you and your partner can continually discuss.
Partner Talk About Erectile Dysfunction
Partner talk about erectile dysfunction is healthy, normal and positive.
There is no right or one way to talk about erectile dysfunction. Every person is unique, and so every conversation about erectile dysfunction will be unique too.
The main thing to do is being open and honest with your partner about what you’ve been experiencing, and allow them to do the same. After sharing, you’ll probably find that you feel better emotionally, mentally and physically.
Conversations around your sexual experiences and satisfaction are healthy and normal. It’s something that you and your partner should feel comfortable discussing. Relationships are about intimacy in every sense; physical, sexual and emotional.
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