To build trust in a relationship, you and your partner need to understand each other and the important elements of intimacy. Here are some of the most powerful questions you can ask each other.
In this article:
- What Achievements Are You Proud Of?
- What’s Your Relationship with Your Family Like?
- When Do You Find It Difficult to Open up to Me?
- What Are You Grateful for Right Now?
- What Are Your Thoughts on Our Relationship?
- How Would You Describe a Perfect Day?
- What’s Your Worst Memory?
- What’s Your Fantasy?
- How Would You Handle This Situation?
- How Can I Be a Better Partner?
- What Was Your Day Like?
Building Trust in Your Relationship | Questions to Ask Your Partner
1. What Achievements Are You Proud Of?
If you want to build trust in your relationship, get to know your partner in substantial ways. By asking your partner what they are most proud of, you’ll get a sense of what they value in life.
You can also try asking these follow-up or alternative questions:
- What fulfills you?
- Is there anything you would change about yourself?
Your partner’s values may also give you a glimpse of how they envision their lives. Hopefully, it’ll also give you an idea of your role in your partner’s goals.
2. What’s Your Relationship with Your Family Like?
Asking your partner about their family is like learning about a super hero’s origin story. No matter how estranged they may seem from the family, it still shaped them in one way or another.
Learning about your partner’s family helps you understand where they are coming from. It may even shed some light on unusual habits or behaviors.
Here are some follow-up questions you may want to ask:
- How often do you see your family?
- How do you keep in touch with your family?
- Are you close to your parents?
- What are your siblings like?
Remember, even the closest of families can be dysfunctional in some way. If it seems like your partner comes from a picture-perfect family, take some time to get to know them from your partner’s eyes.
3. When Do You Find It Difficult to Open up to Me?
Trust is a two-way street. It’s not just about how you see your partner; your partner’s thoughts and feelings about you are equally important.
By asking this question, you show your partner that you care about what they think. It’s also an excellent opportunity to evaluate your relationship and how you can improve it.
It may not be easy to hear the answer to this question, so try to keep an open mind and avoid being overly defensive.
Tip: If you aren’t comfortable asking this question yet, you can start with: “What topics are hard for you to talk about?”
4. What Are You Grateful for Right Now?
It’s a good exercise to habitually ask your partner what they are grateful for. When you do this regularly, it’ll help you understand your partner’s present struggles and what they find helpful.
When you understand what they appreciate and need, you can use that information to become a more responsive and reliable partner.
An added bonus: Studies show that gratitude exercises like this help improve life satisfaction and mood. On top of that, it also reduces the risk of experiencing depressive symptoms.
5. What Are Your Thoughts on Our Relationship?
It’s good to evaluate your relationship as a couple every now and then. It helps to make sure that you’re on the same page and moving in the same direction.
Here are some other questions you might want to follow-up with:
- What makes you feel loved?
- What’s working for us as a couple?
Asking these questions can help re-calibrate your relationship. It also helps build trust because you’re showing your partner you care about your relationship and you’re willing to work on it.
6. How Would You Describe a Perfect Day?
Sometimes, couples get so caught up with their day-to-day that they don’t even have any time left to do what makes them happy individually.
Asking your partner to describe their perfect day gives you some insight into their sources of joy. Understanding what makes your partner happy is an important component of intimacy.
Your partner’s revelation also allows you the opportunity to shower them with small doses of joy regularly. These simple gestures reinforce your commitment to safeguarding your partner’s well-being.
7. What’s Your Worst Memory?
It’s easy to talk about happy things, but it takes real trust and intimacy to talk about the hard stuff. When you ask your partner to open up about difficult experiences, you’re asking them to trust you with their hearts.
If the question is too difficult to answer, here are some alternative questions you can ask:
- What’s your most embarrassing memory?
- When did you last cry? What did you cry about?
Even if they aren’t ready to talk about it, asking this question can help build trust. Show your partner that you’re always willing to listen, even when it comes to the tough stuff!
8. What’s Your Fantasy?
Sex is a great arena for building trust. Without trust, sex can foster feelings of anxiety and disappointment.
It may be embarrassing at first, but sharing these intimate details can bring you and your partner closer together (in more than one way). When your partner shares their fantasies with you, it means they feel safe and secure with you.
An added bonus: Your partner’s answers to your question may liven up your sex life. Who doesn’t love a win-win situation?
9. How Would You Handle This Situation?
Your partner needs to trust you, but your partner also needs to know that you trust them, too. A great way to do this is to actively involve them in your decision-making process.
When you ask them how they would handle situations you’re currently dealing with, you’re telling them that you value and respect their opinion. This reinforces the important role they play in your life.
10. How Can I Be a Better Partner?
There’s only so much you can see from your own perspective. It’s always a good idea to ask your partner to make sure you don’t have any relationship blindspots.
This question is especially important for people who are figuring out how to build back trust in a relationship. Asking this question lets your partner know you are committed to bettering your relationship, and you’re in it for the long haul.
Tip: If this question seems too straightforward, soften the blow by asking, “How can I help you?” instead.
11. What Was Your Day Like?
The key to trust is consistency. Asking all of the big relationship questions can’t make up for the lack of consistent care and concern towards your partner.
Showing your care or concern doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can start with a simple question: how was your day?
Make sure you’re present by actively listening when your partner unloads. It may sound simple, but consistency is an important building block for trust.
Asking questions is a great way to build trust. It’s an opportunity to learn more about each other and reinforce your commitment to one another.
Remember, when you ask these questions, your goal isn’t to test your partner. There is no right or wrong answer here, so try to be compassionate and keep an open mind.
How do you build trust in your relationship? Let us know in the comments section below.